The Dangers of “Me” Time

The Dangers of “Me” Time

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the-dangers-of-me-timeI am a wife. I am a mother. I am a teacher. I am a friend. I am a homemaker. I am chef and head housekeeper. I am the janitor. I am the supervisor. I am the event planner and coordinator. I am the taxi service and kisser of boo boos. I am working from the second I wake up and even to the last second before I fall asleep I am thinking and planning for the next day. 

I need “me” time. I need (as my 5 year old quotes me all too often) just five minutes of quiet. I need to be able to think a whole sentence without being interrupted. I need just five minutes of no one asking me for anything.

And then there lies the danger of “me” time.

I need…I need…I need…

Don’t get me wrong. I have three little ones 5 and under. I KNOW that there does come a point where a mom or wife does need a break. The problem is when the only thought that can run through mom’s mind is “I need me time.”

I am a planner. I usually plan out my whole day the day before. If I know I am going to be doing something out of the ordinary I will plan for it all day. I will move things around in the day so that we can do what it is that may be different from our regular schedule.

Months ago I started planning “me” time into my schedule. Maybe crocheting, maybe to read a book. Some days I plan on going out of the house alone to workout. I plan this into my schedule.

All this in theory sounds pretty reasonable (in my opinion). The problem is when the day doesn’t go as planned (which happens far more often than planned). A LOT of days I don’t get that scheduled “me” time. And what happens then?

  1. I pout. I am not proud of this but I do. I pout about how I needed that quiet time. How I needed those 5 minutes (which, let’s face it, turns into 30 minutes really quickly). I pout which leads to nothing good.
  2. I will have my “me” time anyway. And what goes without? The home. I will have my so needed me time and leave the dishes, the laundry, the sweeping. And really all this does is lead to me being more exhausted by the pile up of chores.
  3. The kids see that what I really care about is when I get my “me” time. I am teaching them that I come first. I am teaching them it’s okay to pout when I don’t get what I wanted. What a mess! These are literally the exact opposite things I am trying to teach them! I know that the days that I put my focus on the kids and the home are the days that the kids will play nicely together…leaving me some quiet time naturally and unplanned.

Please, please, please don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying that we don’t need or deserve quiet time. I am not saying that dishes and chores are more important than our well being.

What I am saying is that we need to keep our focus and priorities in check. If the goal of the day is my quiet time there is something wrong. If I will do anything to get that quiet time there is something wrong.

Beware of putting yourself before your family. Beware of complacency and laziness. Beware of the dangers of allowing your “me” time to be your priority.

This post is linked up to the Grace and Truth Link Up and Nourishing Joy

12 thoughts on “The Dangers of “Me” Time

  1. Hi, Sandy! Anna’s (Davis’) mom here! I’ve thought about commenting before but didn’t. This, though, is a great post! It is true, you do need a minute sometimes just to get your thoughts together! I remember those days of “Mommy, mommy, mommy..” It seemed all I ever did was answer questions! But can I say those days will soon be a blur. I can’t believe how quickly they have gone for me! My “baby” is 17! Enjoy your time with them & cherish those “Mommy” cries!

  2. As a mama of 8, I’m all about the necessity of “me time”. We all need to recharge so we can give our families the best of us. I agree with your point that we must keep our “me time” in its proper place in the midst of our priorities. Some days, “me time” will need to trump the laundry if I am to keep moving forward in a sane way. Other times, “me time” needs to be put on hold to serve others. Thanks for the reminder to keep it all in balance!

  3. An important reminder for all of us moms. I know “me” time is important, but I can take too much me time and neglect my daughter’s needs. Besides, “me” time includes her too. This weekend, we watched movies together and had ice cream. Wonderful “me” time for sure.

  4. Very well said.

    It’s funny but just a few minutes before I came upon your blog post, I was irritated because I was trying to listen to a praise song my daughter had sent me and I was enjoying a quiet moment with my granddaughter on my lap while I was listening, but in the back of my head I was thinking, “Watch, as soon as I start trying to concentrate on this song, someone will come in to interrupt me.” And sure enough a person did! I found myself getting angry inside, and I’m pretty sure the very thought came to my head, “I never get any ME TIME!”

    Great insights and a lot of wisdom here.

    Thanks so much for sharing.

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