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I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a teacher. I am a friend. I am a homemaker. I am chef and head housekeeper. I am the janitor. I am the supervisor. I am the event planner and coordinator. I am the taxi service and kisser of boo boos. I am working from the second I wake up and even to the last second before I fall asleep I am thinking and planning for the next day.
I need “me” time. I need (as my 5 year old quotes me all too often) just five minutes of quiet. I need to be able to think a whole sentence without being interrupted. I need just five minutes of no one asking me for anything.
And then there lies the danger of “me” time.
I need…I need…I need…
Don’t get me wrong. I have three little ones 5 and under. I KNOW that there does come a point where a mom or wife does need a break. The problem is when the only thought that can run through mom’s mind is “I need me time.”
I am a planner. I usually plan out my whole day the day before. If I know I am going to be doing something out of the ordinary I will plan for it all day. I will move things around in the day so that we can do what it is that may be different from our regular schedule.
Months ago I started planning “me” time into my schedule. Maybe crocheting, maybe to read a book. Some days I plan on going out of the house alone to workout. I plan this into my schedule.
All this in theory sounds pretty reasonable (in my opinion). The problem is when the day doesn’t go as planned (which happens far more often than planned). A LOT of days I don’t get that scheduled “me” time. And what happens then?
- I pout. I am not proud of this but I do. I pout about how I needed that quiet time. How I needed those 5 minutes (which, let’s face it, turns into 30 minutes really quickly). I pout which leads to nothing good.
- I will have my “me” time anyway. And what goes without? The home. I will have my so needed me time and leave the dishes, the laundry, the sweeping. And really all this does is lead to me being more exhausted by the pile up of chores.
- The kids see that what I really care about is when I get my “me” time. I am teaching them that I come first. I am teaching them it’s okay to pout when I don’t get what I wanted. What a mess! These are literally the exact opposite things I am trying to teach them! I know that the days that I put my focus on the kids and the home are the days that the kids will play nicely together…leaving me some quiet time naturally and unplanned.
Please, please, please don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying that we don’t need or deserve quiet time. I am not saying that dishes and chores are more important than our well being.
What I am saying is that we need to keep our focus and priorities in check. If the goal of the day is my quiet time there is something wrong. If I will do anything to get that quiet time there is something wrong.
Beware of putting yourself before your family. Beware of complacency and laziness. Beware of the dangers of allowing your “me” time to be your priority.